Each day I wake up to some new thing to be anxious about. It used to be overwhelming at times. Did I turn off the lights when I left the house, is the alarm set, did I lock the front door, did Canary really identify that I left the house or is it still in home mode, and the list goes on and on all throughout the day. If there is anything possible to get anxious about in my life, I will find it. All that anxiety can build up and release itself in the form of anger and frustration if not put into check. It became pretty clear that I needed to find something to help me handle the stresses and anxiety that I seemed to summon into my life.
I went through a wide range of anxiety medications all of which just intensified a level of depression that was not usually noticeable when surrounded by anxiety. So I moved on to an herbal called Passion Flower which has a calming effect on the body. It really seemed to work without the side effects of medications I had tried in the past. In fact it worked so well, my kids called them my “Dragon Pills” because without them I was a bit of a dragon.
Most of the people that I have known since I’ve been taking this medication for well over 20 years probably have no idea of the anxiety I carry with me because they see me as a pretty calm individual that can usually handle the day to day stresses in life. But just a few days without Passion Flower and the level of anxiety begins to rise and consume my life. I will never eliminate anxiety from my life, it is merely the reaction to that anxiety that is controlled. Just as with most medications, once you feel you are on the right level, you begin to think that you can handle the world without it. Only to find that without the medication the demons lurking within rear their ugly heads.
So why do I bring all this up, because we are getting ready to depart on an 18 hour drive to Austin, Texas. I’ve spent the past three weeks preparing our RV for the 2400 mile round trip that will take place over just 6 days. Changing the oil in the bus and generator, changing fuel filters, going through everything to make sure the trip is as uneventful as possible when it comes to travel. And yes, I will double check the front door, make sure the alarm is on, and all the other things that I do each day when I leave home. The difference, I won’t be stressing about each one of those anxiety inducing issues throughout the entire drive.
I am not a doctor, nor did I ever play one on television, so I’m not sure if Passion Flower will be right for you, but it has helped me. Journeys are always stress and anxiety inducing which can lead you to never beginning your journey. Take control of your life, find what works for you, and step beyond the anxiety that holds you back from starting your next journey.
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